Fr. Ron Culmer's blog

A Prayer for Loose Teeth

I had the most delightful encounter with a child at our recent Molly’s Revenge concert at St. Clare’s.

Six year old Molly Wildy came up to me during the break in concert. She said to me: “Fr. Ron, is there a blessing for loose teeth?” She was very serious!

My response was as quick as could be: “Of course, Molly, why do you ask?”

“You see,” she continued, “I have these two loose teeth that need to come out and I’d like a blessing.”

Now some of you might think it is a crazy, silly thing to bless a child who is about to lose her first baby teeth.

But you’d be wrong.

God loves everything about us. I’m reminded of that every time I look at my children, every time I look at my wife. There are things about my family that are little details I love. I get into the minutia of this freckle here, the way this hair grows there, they way this one’s smile goes crooked there, the way this child stands like so! Most people see the imperfections and think: “Oh, boy!” Me, I look at the imperfects and say: “Yeah, that’s my child…that’s my wife.”

I believe God loves us the same way, only with far deeper intensity.  Luke 12:6-7 says the following: “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten in God’s sight. But even the hairs of your head are all counted. Do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows.”

Nothing against the sparrows, but God loves us with passionate detail! Hold your child in heart and mind a moment. Even in your deepest frustration with him/her, recall the love that makes you glad that you are their parent. Or if you have no children, reflect on the one person you love deeply. Now you have a glimpse of what love God has for you and your family. With that knowledge, blessing a loose tooth only makes sense.

So we prayed! And the next day, Molly took out the first of her baby teeth!

The next time you feel unloved, lonely, unworthy of care, remember the deep, abiding, faithful, detailed love that God has for you. It’s more love than you could possibly imagine!

 

Yours for the reign of God,

 

Fr. Ron

My latest article with Bearings Magazine

https://www.thebtscenter.org/bearings/sharing-the-season/quenching-the-fire-with-neighborliness/

Gratitude Again

It's Turkey day 2018 and I'm here on the Big Island of Hawaii with family.

 

This year we started the day with a full worship service. 

 

For the sermon I asked each member of the family to share a story of thanks. It was moving to here how parents, grandparents, and children (who are now adults) shared what was meaningful to each. And while this blog won't covered what everyone said, know that it is a health exercise to practice giving thanks again.

 

I'm typically a person who relishes stories, concepts and mining the scriptures to grow in the ways of God, so my sharing followed just that. I began with a story.

 

"Family," I said to them, "The place that we are renting has pictures of the Buddha. One of my favorite stories about him goes something link this":

 

Long ago, widow lost her only son. The pain she experienced from his death was unbearable. She wanted the child back. Someone suggested to her that the Buddha knew a means to bring back the dead child. She searched out and found him, begging him, "Please, if you able, tell me how to bring my dead son back to life." The Buddha told her that it could be done but only if should find a lotus seed from a family that had never experienced suffering."

And so, she began her quest.

For more than a year, the woman knocked on doors: Rich, poor and everything in-between. However, no matter where she went she could not find a home that was without suffering.

She returned to the Buddha and said: "Now I understand that no one escapes this life without suffering."

Indeed, we all have known suffering, but that, as I like to say, is not the only thing in the room. Many of us have also known joy, happiness, love, peace, etc. All these I chalk up to one word: Grace. 

Indeed, the reason for gratitude is because of what is called "The Circle of Grace." That circle begins like this: Grace begats gratitude and gratitude begats generosity and generosity begats grace. 

Far too often we focus only on our suffering forgetting that grace is all around us. When we realize what we have in God's grace it should move our hearts towards gratitude not entitlement. 

But it doesn't stop there. 

Gratitude should release us towards deeper and deeper generosity for what is thanks without expressions of gratitude?

Finally, our generosity opens up the possibility for others to experience grace, to know the goodness of God. Therefore real gratitude, as I see it, is a circle. 

Gratitude again and again! 

 

 

 

Finding the Face of the Church Becoming

Here's a link to my Bearings Magazine Article about the church becoming:

 

https://www.thebtscenter.org/bearings/2018-april/finding-the-face-of-the-church-becoming/

Radical Gratitude

In 2017 I started writing for Bearings Magazine, an online blog owned by Bangor Theological Seminary. The story about Radical Gratitude was my first article. Here's the link: https://www.thebtscenter.org/bearings/2017-november/radical-gratitude-as-resistance/

Returning once again

My habit of writing blog posts came to a screeching halt in 2012. I'm not sure why since I continue to write both for the congregation and for the broader public. 

 However, since the collapse of my church news article "Heart to Heart" came to an end (A newsletter page that has existed for more than 24 years and served three congregations) I've decided I need to return to bloging once again.

I pray it is blessing not just to those who read it but to me as well.

Let the blogging begin!

 

Ron

Ten Tips for Learning More about Money!

Ten tips for learning more about money

Margaret J. Marcuson

What's your financial IQ? Most pastors have a lot to learn. Here are 10 tips for church leaders for broadening your perspective on money and society:

1. Read some kind of financial publication, in print or online, at least occasionally. This will help you with your own education, as well as keep you in touch with current financial issues. Read a book about financial matters occasionally.

2. Develop your curiosity about financial matters and the economic system. While it's not your main interest, it affects you and everyone in your church and community.

3. Connect with financial professionals in your congregation and community. Tell them of your interest in keeping up with the financial issues of the day.

4. Reserve judgment for a time and consider yourself a learner. While there is clearly a place for a theological critique of our system, it's hard to assess what you don't understand at all.

5. Find a way to connect face to face with those who have fewer resources than you. Engage with them as a learner, not a helper.

6. Remember that the Bible says "the love of money is the root of all evil," not "money is the root of all evil." Know the difference.

7. Develop a global perspective on financial matters. Your own denomination's international ministry network can help with this. Don't depend solely on mainstream media.

8. Accept that you will necessarily be a dabbler in this area. Don't feel the need to be an expert, simply notice information that comes your way.

9. Study the Scripture with the question of society and money in mind. Jot down notes and questions you have about this matter.

10. Preach a sermon on money and society occasionally. Share your learning as well as your questions with the congregation.

Top ten reasons why people become generous stewards
Pastor Mervin Thompson

1. The senior pastor is giving effective leadership, both to the ministry and mission of the congregation. Weak leadership and weak relationships make for weak stewardship.

2. People give to vision, not to budgets. The more compelling the vision and more exciting the missional objectives, the more people are motivated to give.

3. Transformation leads to stewardship. Tithing very rarely comes from the head, it comes from the heart. The most effective stewards have had an experience with Jesus, continue to have such an experience and want others to have one also.

4. Confidence and even pride in one's congregation. If people sense the congregation is on the right track (if it is Spirit-filled, dynamic and challenging), people will give. If they believe the best years are behind it—that the congregation is just hanging on and going through the motions—giving dries up.

5. Inspirational worship attracts people to attend, which increases stewardship. What is it that motivates people to come to worship? Are they looking forward to the music? Is there a sermon series that people don't want to miss? Is the preacher scratching where they are itching? Do people just hate to miss because they might not hear something profound and life-changing?

6. There is an absence of conflict in the church. Nothing dampens enthusiasm like chronic anxiety or ongoing conflict. Those who claim that conflict is healthy for a church—a growing time—have not been leading a congregation lately. Incessant conflict disempowers, reduces confidence, destroys community and dries up giving.

7. A blend of the great commission and the great commandment is necessary for sacrificial giving. Reaching the world for Jesus Christ and responding to the desperate needs of the world are part and parcel of the gospel. A congregation which is just great commission and ignores the poor is not going to generate much giving after a time. A congregation which is just great commandment and ignores those who are unchurched or dechurched will become a social club.

8. The vision of the congregation is consistently and effectively communicated. Rick Warren talks about the Nehemiah vision—that which is communicated every 26 days—or at least once a month. Bill Hybels talks about how vision leaks. Thus one of the major roles of the pastor and staff is to over-communicate, to always be interpreting the vision and mission in word and deed.

9. The congregation needs to be focused on team ministry, the priesthood of all believers. The role of laity is not just to support the professionals and pay their dues, but to be involved in ministry. Everyone is a minister. The more the pastor(s) and leaders incarnate this biblical idea, the more people see the congregation as belonging to them, the ministry is theirs. Too often the people sense the only reason they are asked to give is to pay salaries for staff members.

10. The congregation needs to build strategic partnerships so it is seen as a part of a larger mission. It needs to partner with "centers of health and strength." Partnering with Tanzania, Lutheran World Relief, World Vision, Jamaica Project, Feed our Starving Children, etc. gives people motivation beyond the walls of the congregation. These partnerships need to be very carefully considered, articulated and monitored to see that funds are going where they can be best used.

A Deanery at Mission

“Why on earth would we do this?” I asked the 100+ people who crowded in the Swing Pavilion for the fifth annual Southern Alameda Deanery Vestry Retreat at the Bishop’s Ranch in Healdsburg. The Reverend Dr. Michael Barlowe, the diocesan Canon to the Ordinary; Kathleen Piraino, the Executive Director of Episcopal Charities; and The Very Reverend Jane Shaw, dean of Grace Cathedral joined us for this year’s retreat, adding addition heft to my question. I continued: “It’s not like other congregations are doing this kind of work together! Nor does it make the work of our own congregations that much easier! It’s hard enough leading our own congregations…so why are we doing this?”

The answers fell like the rays of sunshine just outside the building: “Because this who God has called us to be!” Or “I love it when I see other people from different churches whom I know.” And “Being away from home, in this place, with these people, multiplies the energy we have for ministry. We come away with a deeper sense of the holy than we ever could in our individual parishes.” Such fine answers!

Still I knew my own reasons for this gathering, and frankly, some of those reasons are selfish: there is nothing quite like a large gathering of Episcopalians.

We Episcopal folk are a mislabeled lot: words like “Frozen Chosen” or “People who like to read to God” fall easily from the lips of those who don’t know us.  Mind you, we’ve earned some of that sass, but the name calling really only describes our veneer: scratch beneath the surface, and you’ll find we’re as lively as any of our Christian counterparts.

Case in point: The Southern Alameda Deanery Vestry retreat. There are few places in the Episcopal Church that I know of where so much laughter, appreciation of our diverse gifts, and cooperation take place in one setting! Add the gracious hospitality of the ranch, the liquid sunshine of the golden state (The winters in this part of the country are the envy of the world), the bucolic environs (even with the smell of the cows!), and even a “frozen chosen” would have to thaw.

Indeed, that’s what we do at this retreat.

We thaw from our old traditions of “my church is better than your church.” Instead, we focus on what’s working in the congregations of our deanery and how we might take those ideas back to our individual parishes.

 We thaw from self-serving models of ministry, where “my congregation’s resources are mine and not yours,” evaporate like a warm January weekend at the ranch.

No, our congregations: St. Ann’s, Fremont; St. James, Fremont; St. Bart’s, Livermore; All Saints, San Leandro; Holy Cross, Castro Valley; and St. Clare’s, Pleasanton have developed through these retreats shared mission: such as house building in Mexico (which we’ve done for the last five years), walking in the San Francisco AIDS Walk (with the largest Episcopal contingency to date) and working with Deacon John Trubina on planting a “church without walls” in Hayward this year. That’s not the work of a frozen people: it’s more like January thaw!

But that’s just the beginning.

All work and no play makes for a very boring church. So we play at the retreat and in our common ministry. For the past four years we’ve hosted “The Bash.” It’s a gathering at a park for worship, a meal, and playtime. It’s one heck of a witness to the rest of the world to see Episcopalians (our Episcopal flag flying in the breeze) having a good time together…most especially since some of what the world sees of Christians can be pretty ugly!

And because we like each other so much, we’re taking over St. Dorothy’s Rest in August for a come one, come all retreat. The agenda? Just to have a good time! There’s more, but this newsletter has space limitations!

All this talk about what we’re doing and where we are going may seem counter to talking about a vestry retreat at the Bishop’s Ranch. It may even seem like bragging. You’d be wrong on both counts.

We couldn’t do any of this without the support, leadership, and partnership of clergy and laity. A lot of work and planning go into these gatherings. And mind you, this isn’t “perfect ministry.” Getting six different communities of faith to agree and work together is hard work. What keeps drawing us back together is that we know we have touched on something vital, a form of ministry that is as intoxicating and beautiful as the vineyards that surround the ranch.

Which leads to my final point: We decided that we’re going to do this again in January, right here at the Bishop’s Ranch. This time, however, it won’t be just Southern Alameda Deanery. According to the president of our deanery, Mr. Fred Hanson, we’re going to invite leadership from across the diocese to come and see what we’re up to. I’ll admit this may not work for every deanery…but heavens, if what we’ve experienced over the past five years excites other parts of the diocese the way we get excited, there’s no telling what God will do!

In conclusion, the retreat is an amazing mix: one part laity, one part clergy, one part Bishop’s Ranch and whole lot of Holy Spirit. And that is a very good thing, indeed!

Yours for the reign of God,

Ron

Every now and again I drive to my local coffee shop and pick up a large Café Americano from my coffee guy. I know I’m in trouble when he says to me: Fr. Ron, when I talk to M.D.’s I talk about medical things. When I talk to lawyers, I about legal things. When I talk to you…he didn’t need to fill in the blank. “So what’s the news,” I asked. He said, today a customer came to the coffee shop and told me how his daughter who had a brain tumor found that only one thing gave her comfort, one thing gave her relief…it was a cup of my coffee! “Wow,” I said, “That’s awesome.” He said, “It gets better!” His voice is now cracking, tears filling up in his eyes: “The daughter has been dead for five years. And so, to mark the occasion, the family goes and visits her tomb at the graveside, and they always bring a cup of my coffee!” He stops for a moment and then gaining his composure, continues: “The father told me, that I may think that my life may not matter much, selling coffee, but to his family it means a lot!” Rolling back the tear in my own eye, I tell him: “Amen, brother, Amen!”

What difference does all this make? Simply this: You never know your worth to another person. God uses a guy who sells coffee to give hope and relief to a dying person and to a family...who knew? The same is true for the rest of us. Such is God's hope.

Holy Lesiure

 

Vacation this year for the Culmer family was a “stay-cation,” time spent at home rather than traveling some distant unknown. We do stay-cations most especially if we are saving for some future trip, and this year was no exception.  Part of the rule of stay-cation is that one travels and sees the sites nearby, which we did. One of the highlights was seeing parts of Yosemite that we as a family had never seen before. It was magnificent.

This is not say that our time was unproductive…far from it! Diana and I spent several days working the yard, getting rid of weeds, removing shrubs, planting flowers, laying down cloth, putting down wood-chips, etc. It was tiring but rewarding work, and Home Depot is probably very grateful for the many purchases we made.

On a personal note, stepping out of the daily round as rector of St. Clare’s was at time challenging: I love this job and when I’m not doing it there are physical effects. For instance, Sunday morning would come around and my body would naturally wake up in time to get ready for the 8 am service. I would then have to remind myself “Oh, yeah, you’re on vacation!” Do you ever find yourself in a similar space? Sometimes we get so caught up in our work that we forget the holiness of leisure.  Debra Farrington author of Unceasing Prayer: A Beginner’s Guide proves my point:

“Over the course of the summer I made time for leisure and for fun…And in the process I discovered that God doesn’t need me to be deadly serious all the time, that God enjoys my laughter and the creativity that flows from me when I don’t take myself too seriously…All of our leisure activities—our hobbies, the things we do to relax and to express our creativity—can be sacred times, times to remember and enjoy the presence of God and to be grateful for our gifts.  Planting flowers or repotting houseplants leads us to reflect on protecting and nourishing our own fragile roots, and those of others.  Reading a book is an opportunity to discover wisdom from someone else’s perspective, to expand our horizons, and perhaps to learn to know God from a new vantage point. Gratitude for the gifts we have, or for the giftedness of others, arises naturally as we sign or hum, or applaud a fine performance.  The peacefulness or the energy that these activities give us, the sheer enjoyment that we find in participating in them, makes leisure times one of the easiest times to pray our prayers of thankfulness to God, the source of all that exists.”

Those “concerns and twitches” we have when we are away from our usual grind is telling us something: we’re missing out on the deeper blessing found in God’s holy leisure and we’ve been away from it far too long. If this is a summer of  rest for you, I pray you, seek God’s face in your rest! If your working, make time, any time you can for respite…even God did the same at the end of creation and we call it “Sabbath!”

 Here’s to holy leisure!

Yours for the reign of God,

 

Ron